Would I do this if I truly loved myself?

I recently discovered a new book – Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant. It’s centered around this one simple question – Would I do this if I truly loved myself? 

I won’t spoil the book for you, but basically it asks you to ask that question of yourself when you’re making choices, and I realised that this could so easily be adapted to the way we approach food and our body image.

This simple yet powerful question can completely change the way you approach your daily life – your food choices, self-care, how you dress, how you talk to yourself, and even the way you manage your time. 

 

By the way, if you’d like to listen to this one as a podcast episode, you can do that here…

What Does It Mean to Love Yourself?

Let’s just clarify something before we get into the question in question! 

Self-love is often misunderstood. Some people think it’s about looking in the mirror and declaring, “I am the most amazing person ever!”, and believing that you are the most beautiful creature that walked the Earth. If you can do that, more power to you, but it’s not easy to do, it’s not easy to maintain, and we often don’t 100% believe it. 

Instead, to love yourself should be about treating yourself with kindness and respect on a deeper level. It’s about valuing your body, your emotions, and your overall wellbeing.

So after reading this book, I have realised that one powerful way to practice self-love is by asking yourself Would I do this if I truly loved myself?, answering honestly, and making choices based on that answer.

Food Choices if you loved yourself

Diet culture teaches us to restrict, count calories, cut food groups, and generally feel guilty about food. 

Let’s ask that question – would I do this if I truly loved myself? 

If you truly loved yourself would you deprive your body of what it needs? Would you force yourself into an endless cycle of restriction and bingeing? Would you withhold foods that your body can make good use of?

Or would you eat food that nourishes your body and soul, honour your hunger and fullness, allow all foods without guilt, and also allow yourself to enjoy food without restrictions or unnecessary rules.

Ask yourself: Would I put my body through restrictive diets if I truly loved myself? The answer is likely to be no. So in this context, self-love is about finding balance and joy in eating, not punishment and control.

Clothing choices too

We’ve all worn clothes that pinch, squeeze, or make us feel uncomfortable, haven’t we? It’s usually because we’re trying to fit into an unrealistic beauty standard. 

Society tells us we should be a smaller size than we are, so we try to squeeze in to it. Society tells us to wear a certain style because it’s in fashion, so we wear it even though we don’t find it comfortable.

But would you wear something that hurts your body if you truly loved yourself?

Choosing clothes that fit well, feel comfortable, and make you feel good is an act of self-love. It’s about dressing for your current body, not the body you think you should have or the body that you are trying to become. 

Loving yourself is saying no more tight waistbands leaving red marks. No more hiding in oversized clothes if it doesn’t make you feel good. No wearing styles that make you feel self conscious or uncomfortable. 

Dressing in a way that makes you feel confident, comfortable, and true to yourself is truly loving yourself.

Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line

Lucille Ball

Self care & boundaries matter

Loving yourself isn’t just about food and clothing; it extends to how you take care of yourself too. 

Simple acts like showering, brushing your hair, or wearing clothes that make you feel a little more put together can have a huge impact on your self-worth.

But self-care is also about boundaries. It’s saying no when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s asking for help when you need it. It’s taking breaks and prioritising rest over the requests or demands of other people.

Would you run yourself into exhaustion if you truly loved yourself? Absolutely not. Loving yourself means giving yourself the kindness that is allowing yourself to rest, recharge, and not feel guilty for doing so.

Mindset if you loved yourself

This isn’t just about taking care of your physical needs either; it’s also about how you speak to yourself and how you approach life on a daily basis. 

If you truly loved yourself would you constantly criticise yourself? Or would you offer kindness and encouragement?

Would you compare yourself to others? Or would you appreciate yourself for the wonderfully unique person that you are?

Would you see life as a burden, approaching each day like it’s destined to be full of problems? Or would you embrace joy and gratitude, approaching each day as if it’s a blank canvas ready for your creation?

The more you allow love and positivity into your life, the lighter and more freeing everything feels. 

And although this is all about you and not about other people, we do have to acknowledge that when you exude self-love and positivity others do notice. They respond differently. They see the confidence and respect you have for yourself, and that energy is contagious.

Final thoughts

So what if you were to add this question into every day life? 

What if each time you talk to yourself in the mirror you asked yourself the question? What about each time you get dressed, choose to eat, participate in some movement, spend time with other people, think about your energy levels, or decide how you want to spend your day?

This mindset shift isn’t just about food, clothing, or self-care as individual things, it’s about every part of your life put together. 

Every choice you make can be guided by the question: Would I do this if I truly loved myself?

Try it. Pause throughout your day and ask yourself the question regularly. See how it changes your perspective. And if it resonates with you, let me know – I’d love to hear how this practice works for you.